Men and women have been subjected to different contradictions, making them literally and figuratively different. Though each completes the other, there will always come a time when one will have to ask this question: Why is he or she like that?
Misunderstandings often lead to unreasonable fights resulting to break-ups, whether a starting relationship or a year-long one. Thing is, whenever two people fight, they forget to go through the situations and assess what happened, together with asking for forgiveness. These days, a sorry would already mean, “Okay, I already apologized, let’s pretend that nothing happened!” even if there were no clear reasons about the issue. At the end of the day, no explanation, no clarification, and the same issue could be the reason for that misunderstanding all over again. This could be one of the million reasons why men and women, though given a time, seems still need forever to understand each other.
Aside from answering the men’s version He Says: Women’s Common Misconceptions About Men, this article aims to explain certain arguments of men about women that at times lead to misunderstandings. This is not to reason out but to let you all know, that what we do and what we say, it’s all because we’re girls.
I’ve asked 10 men about their negative perceptions about women, and here’s the collection of their answers.
Disclaimer! The men that I interviewed do not represent the greater population of men in terms of their common perception about women, but certainly these were the hottest issues that women regard as men’s common misconception.
What Men Thinks: “All women are nagger. They demand too much!”
Women’s Response: Correction? Not all women are nagger. The thing about nagging, men always misinterprets it as something that we do out of nowhere. Of course not! We nag because we have our reasons. We demand not because we’re being needy but it’s just we wanted to justify that in our lives, you are our knight and shining armor. You can’t blame women if they ask for such, these days; we no longer have such knights. If not dragons, they all turned out to be a beautiful princess in a shining, shimmering gown! So, if women demand for a little sweetness, a spoonful of hugs, or a pinch of pride that we are your girl, doesn’t make you a lesser man, right?
Admittingly, we have these expectations in mind wherein our man should be like this and like that; qualifications in which we are hopeful that our man will do for us. Women are natural dreamers. We are introduced in the fairy tale world where there will always be this prince who is meant for us and is willing to spend a happy ever after with us. These reasons tend to lead us to be a nagger or demanding.
Though there are some girls who really demand for a perfect man. Sad to say but they are the ones who are trapped in their dreams, having a hard time identifying which one is real. They should be avoided but must also be taught on how to wake up and accept the reality that perfection is opinionated. We get to identify which one is perfect in our eyes.
What Men Thinks: “Women are easily jealous!”
Women’s Response: We are jealous because we have a reason. Admittingly, women have this built-in tracker known as instincts that seem to detect if his man is cheating. It’s not always about the issue of a third-party, sometimes a woman becomes unreasonably jealous because men make us feel that way. Always remember that a woman will never feel jealous if you won’t let her feel less important. A woman will always appreciate it if you’d show some respect and you’ll find simple ways to brag him in front of your family and friends.
Women are born with the ideas of a prince charming that will marry her someday and will live happily ever after. There is no Disney prince who cheated on Cinderella or Snow White. Being faithful is part of being a prince—a gentleman in reality. Be a gentleman, not because she’s your girl but because you’re a man. Courting a woman does not end when he says ‘yes’ or ‘I do’—courting a woman does not end. Simple thoughts of appreciation would make her feel special. With that, a woman will not find any reason to feel jealous.
What Men Thinks: “Maarte!”
Women’s Response: “A woman has needs,” Joey (a girl) once told her boss when asked why does she have a whole baggage of clothes and stuffs for a two-day shoot in Tagaytay. All women will agree to this idea. A woman has to change a dozen of clothes a day because of hygienic purposes. We buy clothes as if we are going to turn the mall upside down only to have one dress after shopping is because we look for the cheapest yet stylish ones. Most women know how to handle money well. More than being “maarte”, I think it’s a woman’s “diskarte” in terms of meeting her own needs.
Aside from that, women are born to have this all types of routine to make ourselves look presentable. We’ve got a lot of artsy fartsy things that are not a want but a need to make us look like a girl. And most of all, we dress up as if there’s no tomorrow because we wanted to feel beautiful—it’s a need. It builds a woman’s confidence and trust to herself.
Though sometimes, there are other girls who seem to be unreasonable about being maarte. They become too choosy about everything—the food, the place where they are, etc. Others are even pretentious that they are sosyal in terms of food and clothing. But those are exceptional creatures that I think, men should avoid if they are not used to deal with such.
What Men Thinks: “It’s hard when you show gentleness with a woman because she assumes that you’ve got special feelings toward her.”
Women’s Response: Yes, we are. Women are most of the time emotionally-centered. We tend to interpret different actions toward us as something special, especially if it’s from a man. Guilty as charge, we admit that we assume that a man likes us, but we only do that when a man would make us feel such. Although we’d find out later on that he’s really like that even with other girls, we can’t help it but to think that a little percent might be, you like us—assuming is born then.
Maybe with this, we can start by clarifying things if there isn’t any special feelings rooted with the actions, so that both sides would be aware that there no special attachments, and to avoid jumping into conclusions.
What Men Thinks: “They [women] easily change decision.”
Women’s Response: Someone told me before that it’s hard for a woman to write a book because they easily change their mind, they doesn’t have good focus and they tend to change in the middle of everything. This may not apply to every woman, since we have J.K Rowling in the international world, and Beverly Siy in the Philippines. Not all women fall into this category. There are the ones who know their focus and is firm with their decisions.
Men might say this because sometimes, some women tend to use a greater part of their heart in decision-making instead of their mind. Some may be guilty of this idea, but not all. If men can’t jive with this kind of attitude, then get out of the situation.
Here are two bonuses that we consider as men’s misconception about women, and we take as something that we really hate when men thinks like this:
What Men Thinks: “Women are pakipot. They pretend as if they don’t want us but they actually do.”
Women’s Response: Pakipot is a term used for those who are playing hard-to-get. “Pakipot” issue usually happens during the courting period. It is as if the girl likes the guy too, but doesn’t give her word about it yet, making men think that “nagpapakipot” lang sa kanya. Women has her every right to weigh things whether he really likes the guy or not. Nowadays, one week courtship for men, and they already ask for an answer. Isn’t courting a time to know each other first? Can you assess your partner-to-be in one week? Women are not “pakipot”, they just don’t easily give into the flowery words of men and their seemingly thoughtful gentleness.
Women hates to be called pakipot, ‘cause they are simply not. They are precious; they are worth real effort and time.
What Men Thinks: “Women are paasa! They are used to giving false hopes.”
Women’s Response: Who told you to expect that a girl likes you? Why men would blame the girl if she doesn’t like him? Is it her fault that after all the courtship, it’s just that it won’t work for the both of them? Men used to put the blame on women in times like that with unreasonable points. Just because they’re hurt doesn’t mean that women are paasa. In the first place, there would be times that courting is supposed to be a risk and not for formality sake. Good to hear if both likes each other and courting is their way to know each other further, but if the other one does not, courtship becomes a risk.
It’s not false hopes, its men’s false accusation to women.
With the following thoughts, I hope men would get to understand women too. At the end of the day, when two people listens to one another, that’s the only time that misunderstandings can be fixed. There is no safe zone in a relationship. Whether it’s a success of a failure, you become happy and sad in both different manners.
We’re girls and you’re boys, but I guess if both want it, we can always find a way to meet our irregularities halfway.